At the beginning of the year, we started discussing values with the kids. Got a great curriculum with lesson plans and worksheets called Values: for Lifelong Learners.
It's NOTHING preachy at all. The first exercise revolved around what we value in our friends - there was a list of about 21 words (great for vocab exercise) and then the kids had to vote on their top 5 and say why.
What came next surprised me. Their top 5 were:
What came next surprised me. Their top 5 were:
1. Kind and caring
2. Honest (tied with the two below)
2. Integrity
2. Hardworking
5. Tough/ strong.
Qualities like curious, articulate, talented were low on the totem pole. Energetic and ambitious were somewhere in the middle. But what gave me pause was...if Kindness and Caring are on top, then how did tough/ strong, which seemed to me like polar opposites of caring - make it so far up the list?
Was it that they were watching a lot of cop and robber movies? Was it the neighborhood? Was it from facing adversity on a daily basis? Would we have seen the same values from middle class kids?
From there, we went on and had the kids come up with a set of rules for class behaviour. Their rules/ our rules/ developed in-house. All of us then signed on it - volunteers included - kinda like a contract.
Here's the first half: (more in the next installment)
- Listen when others are speaking; use your indoor voice
- Tell the truth
- Be on time
- Help others when you see they need help
- Sit still
- Be responsible with things - put them away after use
- Hand in work on time
We took care to use positive words rather than negative ones. Such as "listen when others are speaking" rather than "don't interrupt." Or "Sit still" rather than "don't fidget or bang things on the table."
We've been starting class reading through the ground rules out loud and discussing them. Even as volunteers, it's hard to follow all the rules all the time. Hui-e pointed this out and it was like yeah...it's harder than we think. And that's for the adults let alone the kids.
But you know what? The class is a whole different animal than it was this time last year - or even this time last quarter. It could be the dynamics, it could be the kids are gettin' used to us, it could be a bunch of things - but I suspect it has a lot to do with the rules the kids themselves came up with, and rules that the adults are working on following too.
But you know what? The class is a whole different animal than it was this time last year - or even this time last quarter. It could be the dynamics, it could be the kids are gettin' used to us, it could be a bunch of things - but I suspect it has a lot to do with the rules the kids themselves came up with, and rules that the adults are working on following too.
And I'm learning too now. I'm more careful not to interrupt. I speak a lot more softly in class - and I'm finding out it's more effective than raising my voice. And I'm working on applying it in my work life. Dem rules dey ain't easy. But hey - if the kids can work at it, so can I.
2 comments:
Hey! I'm really so proud and happy reading this. It's true, these rules are based on mutual respect. Kids respecting each other, kids respecting adults, and importantly, adults respecting kids. To me, that's why it works. It's great to read about the positivity. Keep it up!
I could say a lot of things about tough/strong, but all I will say is, that contrast to me gives us an insight into the lives of our kids. You have to be tough to survive. That's something they've all learned from young, so it doesn't surprise me that it's there. I'm very glad to see that kind & caring is there - it says to me that they haven't lost that very humanising need for love despite having that knowledge that it's the tough who survive.
Hi Cheryl - thanks for your encouragement...and for being there. We definitely wouldn't have continued for three years if not for you.
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